braxton hicks =//

I have been having these "fake contractions" for about a month now =// starting right around 29 weeks and I am now 35 weeks. =// I am kinda worried they are a sign that Gavin is coming early because they are getting stronger and stronger. And semi-regular. I go back to the doctor Monday, and I am kinda hoping they will check me to see if I have started to dilate yet. 

I hope I have because I would like to deliver this kid as soon as he is healthy enough, because i seriously feel like a gigantic whale. I cant do much without having to stop to breath or stop because I'm having a contraction or severe back pain. 

But on a plus side we got everything sorted out with the life insurance company/bank  and they realized they fucked up and took the hold of the checks so we no longer have to worry about that. The money will be out of their bank and into our personal checking accounts very soon!!! and then instead of just owning the Explorer we will own the jeep as well and probably be trading that in for a car for Anthony.  It might cost us more in the near future but in the long run it should save us money on gas =)) and probably insurance too!!  Its so ridiculous that the 2006 jeep costs us more to insure every six months then the 2011 explorer?? 

"But I'm telling myself I'll be okay, even on my weakest days, I get a little bit Stronger"

The lyrics I pretty much have to tell myself every day. The stress of everything is really getting to me! Preparing for a Deployment, and a Newborn while also dealing with the stress of a RETARDED work Schedule!!!  This week (starting Sunday-Today [sunday]) Anthony has been home, not including sleeping time, about 48 hours, only because he had last Sunday off. And wont see him again for a little while at least!  

But then on top of that, I am having contractions, a lot of them! every day. Some of them are just braxton hicks but some of them make me stop and breath through them. I know its to early for Gavin to be born but I don't know how much longer I will last. And we have SO much to get done before he gets here!!!  I finally got the play-pin and swing but they are both still in the box because of Alexander!  We dont even have a dresser for him yet =// and that needs to be set up ASAP. I am thinking about just getting the plastic ones for now just because Anthony really doesn't have time to help me set up a dresser.

I need some sort of "out" as a stress reliever because I am really going insane with a child in the terrible two's, being pregnant, and preparing for a deployment most people would go INSANE!!! which just proves that Military wives are really cut from a different cloth! 

 

nearing "D-day

With this schedule I can seriously say I would rather them be on Deployment... They are preparing for the 6-9 months they are going to be gone (In a matter of weeks) and we pretty much NEVER see them!!!  1/2 the ship is stuck onboard until midnight or later tonight for some stupid drill thingy they have to go through.  But After a Duty day Saturday, out to sea Monday, and not home until around 6pm Tuesday, then goen again today and probably not home until late tomorrow again I would rather be going through deployment.

On deployment at least I know I cant see him except for our skype dates that are few and far between =//. explaiing to a toddler that daddy cant come home because he has to stay late on the boat... hell i might as well be talking to a flipping wall, it would probably listen better and not fight the answer!!! 

But I seriously don't understand WHYY the hell they need to be doing this shit this close to deployment. I think we have been through enough this year!!! and its only MARCH!!  But since this ship has been home (only since August) they have either had to work late, stand extra duty, or been out to sea more then then have had time with their families!!!  No wonder this ship has HIGH divorce rates!!  Its harder then HELL to deal with. If the stress of the kids isnt enough, you never know when you get to see your SO makes it better!!!  UGH i can not wait until his time on this POS is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I still have 2 years... FML! 

Family Pictures =))

Mom & Dad

The family <3 

Grandma, Pappy & Grandkids

the "Original" Family 

TaLisha's Family

US

The future =))

My family left yesterday =((.... It was hard to see them go again but saying goodbye never gets easier, we just learn to get through it.  Its just like deployment... we never get use to it we just get through it!

We had a BLAST with the family here, the guys went and had fun and blew off some steam and the kids had fun playing together =)).. it makes me miss home even more because the kids could be playing together at home more often.  But I wouldn't change our lifestyle for anything... We are pretty much guaranteed a paycheck and he cant get fired. 

we had our "Christmas" while the family was here since we didn't actually do it in December while we were home

and they kids had a BLAST at the Jumpin' Monkey... they played hard and had a blast running around and playing on the inflatables!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My family will be here in DAYS!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!!! I can't wait! This will be my brother and parents 2nd time in Virginia. And of course Jenna's since she got to spend a whole month with me this past summer =))!! But It will be my sister's first!!!  
Crossing my fingers Anthony gets his leave papers ASAP!!! Since they arent getting "pom" leave (pre deployment) he is taking the week off while my family is here!! We are going to get family pictures taken with everyone... all 12 of us!! It will be the first time we have gotten whole family pictures taken since Anthony left for boot camp... Greenly was only a few months old and Kora wasnt even thought of yet... and neither was Gavin but he is still in my belly =))!! 


We are finally getting everything settled in the new house.... moving is such a pain! Especially being pregnant!! This little man LOVES being in my diaphram and making it hard to breath which makes it hard for me to get anything done =(. But there are no more boxes in the Living room and Kitchen!!!! just a few in Alexander's room (now that we got his dresser in and all put together that will change) And I still have to put together Gavin's stuff for his room but that wont take me to long... Just have to set up the crib and get his dresser!!!  

one month closer to deployment

Its March.... 

That means the baby is due in only 2 short months =)) But it also means deployment is right around the corner   =((.   There is a part of me that is ready to get this deployment going already, just because once they are gone they will be gone for a set amount of time and we wont have to deal with the bullshit schedules and under ways... But he leaves when Gavin is very little and wont be home until he is already crawling =(  [so to say] but once this deployment is over he may not have to do another one on this ship. So that is a plus!!!  

We have so much we want to get done before "D" day and so little time to do it because of the wonderful schedule they are under =((. Luckily we get one more weekend off before they start the 6 day work weeks. And HOPEFULLY we go through one of them and he will have leave for a week while my family is here =)) And that will be his "pre-deployment" leave since they are getting pom leave this time =( [which is total bullshit but whatever cant change it]  but once again that puts it at around a year or longer before he sees his family, but thats not our fault. 

Hopefully this deployment goes smoothly without any extentions so he will be home to see his first baby turn 3 and his second's first Christmas. Those are things you cant get back but also things he knew he might miss when he enlisted.  Luckily we love to take pictures so no matter what he misses he will be able to see it. 

This is a hard life and if you dont like what i have to say then dont read my blog... this is my vent!!!