We found out we are having another boy... Gavin William Martinez!  But when we had the ultrasound I was 20 weeks and 3 days and the baby was measuring at 21 weeks and 5 days... so my due date may be changed when i go back to the doctor in January. 
We left on the 17th to head back to Iowa for Christmas. We left here about 3:30 friday evening and got home about 10:30 saturday morning... But I have learned that when Anthony is with me it takes a little longer... Not sure why. We stopped more and everything but oh well we had a great trip.  It was just WAYY to short!  I can not wait to go back for post deployment leave. We will be getting updated family pictures taken with my family... which has grown since the last ones in 2009... We now have 13 and the 14th will be delivered by then as well. 
Christmas was WONDERFUL this year. Daddy was home for Alex, and we got to go back to Iowa. I don't think there was much more to ask for. Except maybe that Gavin was born but that one will wait for next year.  We just have to pray that Daddy will be able to be home for his first Christmas.  
Christmas is all about the joy and excitement in Alexander's eyes when he is opening his presents.  It has nothing to do with what we receive its all about what we give. <3 


Now its back to the normal schedule with Anthony gone all the time =((  We got back Sunday and Anthony returned to work Monday, and is back on duty again.... I really hate duty days =(  my bed is lonely and cold while he is gone... but I might as well get use to it once again because they start their pre-deployment underways  and work-ups shortly =((

FINALLY got back to the doctor.... The baby is doing fine and everything is looking good.... we get to find out if the baby is a Caleb or a Kacee on friday =) I'm so excited!!!  I want a little girl soooo bad but i will be just as happy with a little boy =) I <3 babies!!!!! 


Then on Friday we will be leaving either after hubby gets off work or after the apt depending if he can get the extra time off.... to go back to Iowa...  I am soooo excited!!! I get to meet my newest niece and see everyone!  The only down fall is we have to leave the night of Christmas to get back before he has to get back to work.. but AT LEAST we get to see family.... the only bad thing is ... its not the greatest circumstances... 

well life has been decent...  Anthony's schedule has returned to semi-normal so now he actually comes home and spends time with us, thats a massive PLUS!!!!  I am almost 19 weeks pregnant and haven't been to the doctor in 8 weeks now =// because i am waiting on TRI-care to process my referral. I really wish they would hurry up! We are able to find out what I am having but we cant schedule the ultra-sound until I get the referral!  
We have a few names picked out. But I am not sure which ones I am in love with yet...  I am really starting to wonder if Alexander is right about the twins because i am HUGE!  I haven't gained a lot of weight yet, only about 15lbs [[Thankfully by this time with Alex I had gained almost 40lbs]] but I can tell that I am gaining weight in more then just my stomach area =(... but that just means more working out for meeee! Which will probably be a good thing since it relieves stress and Anthony will be gone for awhile I am going to need it!!! Taking care of a 2 1/2 year old and a baby is going to be a lot of work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 




Alexander turns 2 in 16 days =// I can't believe my baby is that old already.  It seems like he was born a few months ago not almost 2 years ago!!!!! 

ONE MONTH =))

2 month's old =))

nine months old =))

one year =))

19 months =))

22 months 

23 months =))

i cant believe how much he has changed since he was born =)... He goes day to day from looking more like me to looking more like Anthony.  But he is still my precious baby. well as he says he is my "Yittle Man" ... But now its time to figure out what we are going to do for his birthday and when we are going to do it =) 

I am so ready to find out if we are having a baby boy or a baby girl!!!! But i really want them to double check that their is only one baby because Alexander keeps telling me that he is having a baby brother and sister and they are both in my belly on opposite sides =/. I am 16 weeks pregnant now, only 24 weeks left!!! I hope it goes by fast but once the baby gets here i want time to DRAG!!!!!!!! 
We are starting to look for a place to move. There is a part of me that wants to stay right here but we are looking for something cheaper but still has 3 bedrooms. I am sick of living pay check to pay check and not being able to save any. 


After getting Tri-care prime in October my baby doctors office has now decided they have to have a referral for me to be seen there. So now I have to wait on that process before I can go back to the doctor... Which sooo is not a good thing because that could take another 2 weeks or more!!!!!  My doctors apt was scheduled for Wednesday and they waited till I got there before they informed me of this bullshit! I could have had this process started or even taken care of before my appointment if they would have freaking told me!!!!!!!!!!  


Then on top of that I have had a Migraine for 3 days now and nothing is phasing it!!! I  have taken Tylenol over and over again and it doesn't even dull the pain. So last night i took Tylenol pm and that didn't really help dull the pain but it did help keep me asleep for more then an hour at a time. Plus Alexander is being a PAIN today! he seems to think he doesn't have to listen to me anymore! and when he does listen to me it lasts for a whole 10 min max! 

are you flipping kidding me?????

Is fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My husband has been home for a little over 3 months and I have seen him for a total of maybe a month if you add all the sleeping hours up and everything!  This is complete and total BULLSHIT!!!!!! They are having to pick up even more duty's because of ONE fucking department on the ship. I really don't give a shit if i piss someones wife off! Its fucking ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!! there is NOOOO reason the people who passed their inspections with FLYING COLORS should be suffering for  the people who didn't!!!!!!!!!!!!  
So now Anthony will be having duty and then the next night he wont be home till Alex goes to bed and then duty again.... THIS IS BULL!!!!! Alex doesn't see him enough as it is! This ship is seriously the WORST ship ever!!!!! They fucking had to work on Veterans day because it might give them Saturday off.... well they are still fucking working Saturday!!! 


When Anthony is home he is DEAD tired and doesn't want to do anything, so it is pretty much like he isn't even here!!! This is seriously WORSE then deployment!!!!!! They might as well take them out to fucking sea for this bullshit!!!!!! It is 7:00 and Alexander wants to play with daddy but he can't stay awake long enough to play! This is hurting Alex worse then Anthony being deployed because he understands Daddy is bye bye but when daddy is home he wants daddy's attention!!! its killing me! 

Christmas leave dates were relased, They are on the shorter side but not to horrible. But now its time to decide weather or not to go small on Christmas Presents and go back to Iowa or stay here and be able to spend that extra money on Christmas, our Aniversary and Alexander's Birthday. I just wish home was closer then 18 hours, And we had something that got better gas milage as well. It costs us right about $600 for the drive home (Round-Trip). But that includes the Oil change, Gas, Food and some extra snacks and stuff to have in the car.  And we dont need a hotel room so that is a plus. But I am so unsure what to do. Anthony really wants to go home, He hasnt been home since last Christmas. But he doesnt want to cut it short with money anymore either. Its so frustrating! He wont be able to take leave again until their pre-deployment leave. Which kinda stinks but there schedule is soooo hectic!!
Today is a busy day!! We might be going to the Zoo for Military appreciation day with Miss Heather. Then I have a Scentsy Party this afternoon. I am crossing my fingers for a good turn out at this party. I had one yesterday with a pretty good turn out =) and she hasnt closed the party yet so hopefully she will pick up some more orders!
Well I have to go get Alexander some breakfast and get ready fro the day =)

I am sooo over this underway and they just left! Alex was not excited that Daddy will not be home for awhile =( He got mad when it was time for daddy to be off work and we didnt go pick him up =( But at least its only for a short time, this time! But I read somewhere today that Army and Marine wives have it worse, well i disagree! I wasnt sure how i felt about it when everyone was talking about it a few months ago but now i really think the Navy has it worse, we have to say goodbye more often. It doesnt matter how long they are going to be gone, its the fact that they are gone!  I know from experience that being apart gets easier with time, Anthony had been gone for over a year before they got home in August and the first few weeks were horrible, i was a wreck but it got easier as i focused on other things, like moving to Virginia. But now that he is gone again I dont have anything to focus on except the 2 hour training class i have tomarrow.
Tomarrow miss Brittany is going to come watch Alexander while I go to my first training class to become a Child Development Home through the Navy. This will keep me occupied but also bring in some extra money =) thats always a plus! But I also dont have to worry about not being able to find kids to watch because the Navy sets that up =)!!
I havent been sick a lot with this baby but damn I feel like i have been hit by a semi every freaking day! I can take a nap but when i wake up i still feel like i havent slept hardly at all! Which is killing me, on top of not being able to sleep at night now my naps arent even helping, I dont think the doctor will put me back on sleeping meds for my Insomnia since im pregnat but im going to have to ask her about something because I am starting to slack on house work and everything.... Its driving me CRAZY!!!!!

I haven't blogged in quite awhile but that is mainly because every time i try to blog something goes wrong on the internet and it doesn't work right! GRRR! 


Everything has been good with my pregnancy so far, I have been lucky and barely sick! one to two days a week I feel sick and cant do much without making myself sick =( But other then that I cant complain to much about it.  Tomorrow i go to the DR for my first real ultrasound. I am excited, just to make sure everything is developing correctly.  Plus I really want to find out the due date. Because based on the date of my last period I am due May 3rd but when she was doing my exam she said that everything was looking a little small, so I'm worried about that. I am just hoping the baby is healthy!!! 


I am going to try to become a Child Daycare home [C.D.H.]  I have to take some classes and go through some inspections in the house and then I can start watching military brats, lol. But it will also help bring some extra money in. And help us get a good savings built up =)!! I am hoping to get all of this started as close to the beginning of the year as possible, if not sooner! But it says it takes a couple months to get everything processed. I just want to get everything going and settled in before I have this baby and Anthony leaves!  The only bad thing about doing this is I wont be able to go home as often, but that could be a good thing at the same time because it will save us some money!!!!! lol. I will just have to give the daycare parents a lot of notice so when we do go home it isn't as hard for them to have a back up and get it all set up. 


The NAVY pisses me off ooooh so bad!!! Anthony was NOT suppose to be on this next underway because he had some class but they cancelled his class, so a week before they are suppose to leave they inform him that he will be going with them =(. I do think it is a good thing  because we have been fighting a lot and maybe that will help us out a little. But Also because while he is out to sea i dont have to fight with him about spending money all the time!! lol so hopefully we can save some money! But knowing him he will find some excuse to spend money on something! 

...

Everything has been hectic for the last few weeks, and I am not sure why... we really haven't had a lot going on but it  seems like we have. but it probably doesnt help that i havent been feeling good. It makes me not want to do a damn thing! Which is driving me crazy because i hate that my house is a mess!!! And my DAMN HUSBAND seems to think its not his job to help out! I have to force him to help me do the dishes!! and clean up after dinner... wow!! But he is actually helping me tonight... SHOCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the dr and I am due May 3rd, 2011 as of the date of my last period calculates but I go in for an ultra-sound on Oct. 1st to go by the measurements of the baby!  May 3rd is my brothers birthday and he would be stoacked if I had the baby on his birthday!! As long as I have the baby before Anthony deploys again I will be happy. I am sure i can do it alone but i just dont want to!

Anthony's ship is being STUPID!!! They are on 4 section duty instead of 6 section [REDICULOUS!!!!] I am sick of it but I am happy that they are no longer on 3 section but 4 isnt that much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the "friend" I was talking about in my post a few days ago...
She is NOT a Navy wife!!! She I havent actually talked to her in OVER a month!! So those of you who thought i was talking about you {MY WIFE!!!} I am not!!!


Just to clear that up.... I would NEVER ask someone to ditch their husbands/bf/Fiance's or whatever FOR ANY REASON!!!!! I would loove to spend time with the girls like I use to but EVERYONE is getting ready for their husbands to Deploy with-in the next six months {except for a select few} 
I love the girls I have met and I wouldnt change any of my relationships with ANY of them!! I know all of them will be there when/if i need them just like  i will be there for them!!!

Alexander takes after his dad in so many ways!!! He seems to think he is a fish when it comes to water! He LOOOVES the pool and has no fear!!  He runs to the side of the pool and trys to walk into the pool... yikes!!!  But Its fun to watch him tease his Dad! He runs back and forth between the ladders on the side of the pool just to make Anthony swim back and forth between them... Then He would stop to laugh about it!!! He had fun doing it for about 20 min before Anthony got tierd of it and make him get in the water again.

When we are at the park he gets Daddy to slide with him! Its so cute though!!! But he has him doing whatever he wants him to do and Anthony pretty much goes along with it!!! But he is getting better at discipling him!!! Alexander is finally starting to listen to him!!!

Since my husband has been home... more than one of my friendships have changed... Its really pissing me off because they can bitch they dont get to see me but yet they make absolutely no effort to come see me!!!! I know IM being a little extra bitchy about this but its been bugging me for a couple weeks!!!

Its like I was only good enought when he was gone. And thats not happening for awhile. I am sorry that I finally get to have my husband home... after a year its a big deal! I have tried to do things while he is on duty or at work but nope thats not working.

But whatever!!!!! I have "Earl" To worry about now.... stupid hurricane! He is supose to be here tonight but he isnt hitting us head on so that makes it soo much better!!!  We are just supose to get hit with the outter winds and some rain. And we are staying put. I have talked to the locals and everything and everyone is saying we are pretty damn safe where we are!!  Amanda and Madison are coming to stay just for company and that way if Matt gets locked on base they arent alone!!!!

Just hoping that Anthony gets off the Ship before they lock base down!!!! I really want him to be able to come home!!!

Im so excited..... but sooo worried

WOW!!!!!!! We had a great day!!!!!
My lover Amanda Weaver had her Party Gal's Party...  And that was AMAZINGLY fun! We got to know things about eachother that we didnt know. And some people may never be able to look at a turtle again.... LOL But we had a great time!!!!
I am thinking about asking the ladies that did our party if they would be interested in hosting a Scentsy party for me and I would host of them. This would have to be in October, Just because the month of September is FULL!!!!!  With my wifey's wedding and batchlorette party! I really wish i could have helped more for that but with Anthony's family here we did a lot of eating out and everything so we really didnt have the money to give. 
But this morning we delivered my Scentsy Products to my hostess. And then we went to get some pregnancy tests....
So i took one test when we got home and it came out negative. so a few hours later i went back into the bathroom... the pregnancy test was laying on the top of the trashcan with 2 lines..... So i told my husband and we decided I should take the other one. And that one came out positive as well... So that means we got pregnant shortly after he got home... Like within a few days after he got home =))...

I am kinda nervous about having another baby with Alexander but I think I will be fine.... But the worst part of it is Anthony will be leaving again shortly after the baby is born =(( But I think we will all be fine. Everything will work out and we will be a happy family... well as happy as a military family can be going through a deployment!!!!


I'm so excited =))

Job... yikes

I have been trying to figure out what we are going to do now that Anthony is back home. Well I figured out that we can NOT afford me not to go to work. Unfortunately! I really wish i didnt have to, but in a way im glad i do. It is a way for me to get out of the house and have some ME TIME!!!! My only problem will be finding a place to take Alexander while I am at work.   [[Anyone has any Ideas???]]

I was really hoping to just find some kids to babysit at home and then I didnt have to worry about getting a job. But that isnt working out for me. Scentsy isnt working out well enough to help us out drastically like we need it.  I just dont understand how... we had between 6 and 700 left after bills while he was gone. Now we are getting 500 less but we dont even have the extra 1-200 left. Its really upsetting me.

In a way I wish we could get out of our lease on the 3 bedroom and switch to a 2 bedroom apartment. That would save us a couple hundred at least in just rent. But we cant do that so whatever.   And if we could trade in the jeep to a car that got better gas mileage that would help a hell of a lot to. But thats not an option... UNFORTUNATELY!!!!!!!

I just want to scream and cry!!!!!!

SSSSCCCCCCRRRRRREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMIIIIINNNNNG

I am sooo sick of having no money!!!! Its been a HUGE adjustment to not having the hazardous duty and family separation pay =//.  We have the money to pay our bills but not the money to spend on the things we use to. It really sucks but I am sooo glad he is home... no matter how much he stresses me out sometimes. I am really sick of not being able to go out and do everything I want to do but I think that will be different when I get use to him being home.  Its just a huge adjustment. but Im loovvving it!!!!! its just starting to get old when people ask me to do something and they dont understand that i cant afford to live like i did when Anthony was gone...  Its just getting SUUPER annoying!!!!  I think thats what is causing me to hate being around people right now.

But I have been feeling extra annoyed with everything lately!!! I am hoping its cuz I am Preggers! because thats what we want. Getting prego now would put me due before next deployment, or really close to it. But I am starting to think I am not prego =(( But oh well. I have taken a few of the super cheapo tests and they all come out negative. but im not sure if I believe them or not.  I feel like I am always going to the bathroom, and ALWAYS eating!!!!!!!  Plus im extra moody, and just crabby all the time. Plus no modivation to do anything. Its rediculous!!!!! It kinda makes me wanna cry!!!


but i think im done bitching for the time being.... got to get ready to go see the hubby on the ship today =))

Its been awhile since i blogged. But I have been spending as much time as possible with the hubby before he goes back to work =(( I am ready for him to go but at the same time I LOOOVE having him home, We just get on eachothers nerves.... which is understandable we are alwasy together

But his grandparents flew in for the weekend, They decided wednesday afternoon they were flying in, and flew in thursday afternoon. They fly out tomarrow morning, And I can not wait to have my house back and get it CLEAN!!!! Anthony has been yelling at me to stop cleaning while they are here becasue its rude but I cant help it anymore. I had to disinfect my entire kitchen today and then I got one of the bathrooms done before he yelled at me again!!!!

We have been to the beach, and had a wonderful time. Alexander loooves having mommy and daddy there to play with.  He ran back and forth between us. Plus running up to the area his great grandparents were sitting.

I havent figured out how I did all this without his help. It must just come and go naturally... But I dont know. I have had a blast having him home. But I have been missing my wifey like crazy!!!! Along with as Anthony says my Girlfriend!!! LOL I am not use to not being around them all the time.... But he goes back to work at teh end of the week and I will have my time with my ladies agian!!!! PLUS he has duty the day he goes back!!!!! So He goes back to work and has to stay on the wonderful ship... =// Not sure how Alexander is going to take to it though.... He will probably cry when we drop Anthony off at the ship but I think once he gets use to it we wont have any problems anymore!!!!

We got our family pictures taken about a week ago!! and they were AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looove them!!! Christinia Rush Photography  IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!

I can not wait to get the prints posted around my house!!! They are going to look great!!!!  We will definately be booking pictures in the future all through her!!!! <3

our

wonderful

Family!! <3

Compatiblity

Sarah
&
Anthony

90% Compatible

♥ Sarah and Anthony have been romantically-together for a long time. That alone demonstrates a degree of compatibility. Similar personality descriptions are a plus. The religious faith they share may help to form a bond. They both drink, so there is no incompatibility there. Both are also sports fans, and that can bring people together. A mismatch in athleticism could decrease compatibility. Sarah may complain that Anthony is too sloppy. Their astrological signs are in harmony, though, which is a plus. And their views on children are similar. Overall, Sarah and Anthony are highly compatible. They are capable of having a beautiful relationship together. ♥

Take the Dating Compatibility Test

HoMeCoMiNg

My hubby is FINALLY home!!!!  I am soooo happy to ahve him back!!! It has been great! We have had tons of SEX!!! LOL obviously! But it has been AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! Its so great to be able to lay in bed next to him at night! I can cuddle up to him whenever I want... YAY!!!!!! 

Alexander has taken to him AMAZINGLY!!!!! He is always talking about DADDY!! Or following daddy around! He has been playing catch or doing anythign at all possible with him....

The ship pulled in around 9 am Friday morning!!! It was so much fun! Watching was kinda fun. But it never really soaked in that they were home... It still hasn't compleatly soaked in!!! I cant believe he is actually home... But I am sooooooooo happy to have him home FINALLY!!!!!! But my wonderful feeling of having him home will be short lived... becasue the time he actually gets at home will go by WAAAYYYY to fast and before I know it he will be back out on another deployment!!!! =(( GRRR Navy!!!

Alexander was a PROUD NAVY BRAT!!! He waved that flag like there was no tomarrow... He hit a few people in the face along the way but that kept me in my personal space!!!!! <3 LOL I  wasnt a fan of being swarmed around by strange people..

We got to the Peir about 2 hours early! We helped set up and then just played the waiting game!! Which I am HOORIBLE!!!! I am sooo Impatient its not funny. I have a little more patience with Alexadner but NOT for anyone or anything else so by the time the ship acutally pulled in I was annoyed and ready to go home... But then we took one of Anthony's friends to the airport so he could fly home to his family!!!

ALexander is learning what to do to make a cute picture!!! LOL We were getting ready for teh night before party. Which was AMAZING!!! We had a lot of fun even though we had a last minute change of plans... It kind of sucked, It started STORMING so we had to cancel the "Candle Light Visual Servies" But it was still fun! We sat around and talked and really got to know eachother a little better...

I just read the stupidest thing in a blog....

I have had someone I know or family in EVERY branch of the Military, except Cost Gaurd. I dont think anyone has anything worse then anyone. Yes the Army deploys for 12-24 months but it doesnt matter if they are gone for days, weeks or months, its still a deployment!!!
A time away from his or her families. They dont get to see them any more or less then anyone else. Yeah the Navy deploys for 2-9 months normally but they deploy more often then anyone else. In a three year time period they would be deployed about the same amount of time, for most of the branches. 
EXAMPLE::: They Army deploys for 18 months then they are home for at least a year. Well the Navy deploys for 8 months, then has underways that add up to be about 3 months between deployments (10 months), and deploys for another 8 months and then they are home for another few months. But that adds up to ONE MONTH MORE THEN THE ARMY... so how do they have it harder??? 


ugh im so over this stupid bullshit... The Sailor's in the Navy have it just as bad as the Soldier's!!! They are getting paid by the same people. They risk their lives for the same people. They are doing everythign for the same people!!! so just shut you freaking mouth. Unless you have lived both lives then shut the hell up!!!!!

new signature

stress-less

I had an AMAZING time with the girls last night!!!! We had a "Mommies Night at the Beach" It was so relaxing... It was kind of awkword though because we kept looking for the kids and looking around for the kids. But we had the "World" lifted off our shoulders. 
But on the negative side, we did see a Jelly fish =// But we think it was DEAD! because it just stayed in the exact same spot for at least an hour.  And it was close enough to sting all three of us and it didnt, SO who knows. But offically today opeend Jelly fish season =// beach might not be happening for awhile!!!!  But my honey wants to experience the beach a little bit. But We may not do it to much, just because the Jelly Fish. I dont want Alexander to get stung... YIKES!!!!!

My wifey's little ones bday party was also yesterday so we had all the girls together... Well minus two, Miss Brittany was busy (Getting married!!!!) and Miss Amanda was visiting her family!!! But we had fun! We got an updated picture of us =)) Just need the two girls in there and we are all in it!!!

 

These girls in the pictures with me... They are my help through WHATEVER the navy throws at us. And I would have not been able to handle ANY of this deployment without not only these 4 but the other 2 who were out of town for this....

My little love bug is learning his sporting ablilities.... He loves sports period!!!! But here he is learning to throw a football. I couldnt help but capture that moment on camrea! His daddy needs to hurry his butt home and help him get his throw down, and learn how to bat left handed because Mommy cant do it!!! I have the hardest time helping him write left handed!!!! But I Love the fact that he is left handed, not only because it makes him more special but it makes his Dad and Great Uncle happier because he will be a left handed baseball player... =))

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted.

And never worried about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, my body and all my feelings.

I slept all night.

 Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was OK.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much......

......before I was a Mom.

...Author Unknown

Its so close but so far away

My huney Is coming home so soon. But it is SOOOOO far away still. My todo list is growing more and more everyday. I think my house needs to be SPOTLESS and he is yelling at me when I tell him I am cleaning. He doesnt care waht it looks like as long as he gets to have family time.  Well I want to have family time to but if my house is a mess its going to be difficult to sit on teh couch and watch TV with him instead of cleaning. (Thanks Lisha <3 u!)

I am dreading that when he gets home I am goign to have to scream and yell at him to pick up after hisself instead of me doing it for him. I am not his maid and I will NOT be his maid. I only have one one little one (as of now) To clean up after, besides my self. SO This is your news flash baby.... I am not going to be nice about it =))

Then we have our families complaining we arent going back to Iowa. Well Im freaking sorry we cant afford to go to Iowa, It costs us a wopping six hundred dollars to go back. If they want us to go back then THEY have to pay for it.  We can not afford it and I am not taking out a loan to go home to see our families. That is rediculous.  Plus Anthony has NEVER seen his "new" home. He doesnt knwo wehre we live or how to get to the beach, NOTHING> He needs to learn his way around before we drive 1100 miles to go home.  But If he wants to go back home I told him taht we could go back for a week and HE had to get the money from his family. I dont expect my family to pay for things becasue while we are there we live with my family. 

I am thinking A LOT about what Anthony wants to do and if it would be good for our family. I love him and I want him to be happy. But switching branches is extreme, but I am starting to think it might be better.  He is gone for 18 months and then home for 2 years.... That would be nice. But thats not how it always works.

Well its little mans bed time so I better get off the computer and put him to bed =))

Peanut Butter, Chocolate & a Saturday Night Movie

WRITTEN BY Baby Battle rattle---- sub. Navy wives in instead


You have your most comfortable pajama’s on, you know the ones I’m talking about! Green sweats with a little black EGA on the hip that are nicely worn in for you by someone else, the t-shirt that has holes but is so soft from years of love…yes those pjs. You’ve got your popcorn, peanut M&M’s (or fill in your favorite candy here), glass of wine and favorite go to movie for nights like this and yet something is missing. Your Sailor.


If you’ve been married to your Sailor for a while, you know EXACTLY what I’m describing here. It’s the end-of-a-hard-week-Saturday-night-middle-of-deployment (or field op)-me-time of the Navy wife. I’ve done about a hundred of these nights, and will do a hundred more. Sometimes it’s with girlfriends, sometimes alone, and for me, most recently with our new addition, our baby girl. I’m sure when you first married your Salior this was not the Saturday night you thought you’d have. It’s funny that our view of a situation can change after we are into it. It’s hard to remember you were supposed to drain the swamp when you’re knee deep in alligators! Everyone thinks and often says “I know it’s going to be hard, but I love him”. Well you’re marrying him, so I sure hope you love him, but looking back we don’t really know just how hard some of those times will be, do we? You don’t think about how many things he may miss because of a field exercise or deployment when you’re in a beautiful dress and your Salior is standing at the front of a church in the BEST dress uniform of them all, ready to make you his forever. Then the wedding is over and you don’t get a honeymoon until 6 weeks after your wedding because they’re going to (insert your favorite duty obligation here). Or that he’ll miss your pregnancy while "going IA" in Iraq or Afghanistan, or worse the birth of your baby. You don’t think about him not being there for a birthday, family event, anniversary, or holiday. Why don’t you think about these things? Because you love him and as hard as ALL of those things are, it’s ok. You are a Navy wife; you can handle whatever the Navy can throw at you! PCSing in a month, no problem! Pregnant alone? NO problem! Christmas without your Sailor? E’ed Sae’ed! (Happy Holidays in Arabic) You’ll celebrate with other Navy wives. While our husbands adapt and overcome, so do we!

I’m not sure about you ladies, but as for me; I wouldn’t change my Navy life and experiences for anything. These experiences have shaped my husband and me into who we are today. They’ve given us great friends, and taken a few. They’ve even brought us closer together through thousands of miles apart. I hope you all are enjoying this Navy roller coaster ride. If you’re having one of those end-of-a-hard-week-Saturday-night-middle-of the-_____________(fill in the blank) nights tomorrow just remember you’re not alone and we will make it. After all, we are Navy Wives!



(For those who are reading that are Army Wives/Navy Wives/Air Force Wives just insert that where needed!) :)

Military Wives

Another sleepless night for me
Alone upon our bed

I see again his every move

And those last words he said.

So proud he looked in uniform

Convinced that he was right

He had to go, for duty called

There was a war to fight.

Those last few days before he left

I hid the pain inside

We talked and loved and even joked

He never knew I cried.

 

And when the dreaded moment came

He kissed me tenderly.

His eyes met mine, and then he said,

"I'll be all right, you'll see."

I tried to smile and nod my head

Afraid to let him see

The terror that I feared if he

Did not come back to me.

I see him as he walked away

I tried to say 'good-bye'

But words were trapped within my throat

All I could do was cry.

The weeks have stretched now into months

And every night I pray

That God will keep him in his care

And bring him home one day.

At last I drift off into sleep

In dreams I see him more

I turn around and smile to hear

His footsteps at the door.

Restless I sleep, and then I wake

Not opening my eyes

I move my hand to reach for him

But no one near me lies.

I will not give in to despair

With each new day I'll cope

For I know he would want me to

Be brave and live with hope.

I hear the voices loud and strong

Who criticize the war

While yelling men are fools to go

They stay on freedoms shore.

A man who cowers under fear

Will die a thousand deaths

While men like mine for freedom fight

And offer their last breaths.

I hope perhaps in fifty years

When men remember war

They won't forget the wives who dreamed

Of footsteps at the door

SCREAM, LAUGH, CRY

I am so unsure on what I want to do right now. I want to scream becasue Deployment is really taking effecting a tole on my life. I can not think of ANYTHING but how long it has been since i seen him. I love him to DEATH but I am really despisng him for leaving me alone to take care of OUR son. We got in a fight over some bull---- today. It was seriously just stress taking over our words and we werent even thinking. =((

Then on top of deployment stress I realized we are losing almost $500 a month when he gets home. That is going to put a HUGE hole in our money problems we already have now. It is REDICULOUS how little the Military pays. I dont get it. I mean they are defending our country and they dont even get paid enough to qualify above the low income line. over half the people in teh military qualify for foodstamp benifits. thats not right. My husband joined the military because we had our son at a young age. We thought it would help us get a better start. But instead we are barely making enough money to pay all of our bills and buy the extra things we need.  I know I am going on and on about this but I do not understand it AT ALL!!! I love my husband and support everythign he does but I just dont get that they are paid so LITTLE!!!