I didn't get a chance to blog last night, I was EXHAUSTED!!! 

Yesterday, Day #2 without him home.... Actually went rather well. Alex asked for him a lot and every time it brought me to tears. He is such a Daddy's boy so it really kills me that he had so little time between deployments with him. But its life and Alexander will get use to it. This will be the last one that has such a quick turn around... at least for awhile. 

We stayed home all day yesterday, but I didn't get anything accomplished. other then folding a load of laundry, doing dishes and cooking dinner. Other then that my time was spend feeding Gavin. He must be going through a growth spurt because he is constantly eating... though he isn't sleeping as much anymore. But he is almost a month old now, and becoming even more alert =).

Today we are going to the Cheasapeke Jubilee with Miss Heather. It should be nice to get out of the house and do lots of walking =)). That should help me with my weight loss. I have 45lbs to loose and lots of inches.... I haven't measured yet. But my stomach is wayyyyyy to flabby since I have had Gavin.

D Day

We said our "goodbye/see you laters" today. A heartbreaking day for sure! I'm not sure if it has really hit me yet today =(. I cried while we said goodbye and while we watched the ship leave. Its really one of the hardest things I have ever done. I can honestly say I was ready to get this deployment started so it would be over but I so wish they didn't have to go. 

I know its his job and I knew that when I married him but it doesn't make it ANY easier!!!!  Especially after delivering our second son 3 weeks ago! I have my normal emotions and then the postpartum emotions making it even worse!!!  I love my husband and I support him every second but I just want him to be home with me and the boys. Its so stressful saying goodbye so often, then when we get use to having them home again they are gone again in a snap of a finger. 

Well enough with the negatives... Today is one day closer till the day they come home. And one more day till I get to go back to Iowa and see my family.... and they get to meet Gavin for the first time!  


I am going to work out and diet during the deployment so I can be the "biggest loser" of our FRG! my weight as of right now I want to loose aprox. 40lbs but I REALLY want my stomach to go down, past where it was at before Gavin!  But I have to figure out how I am going to work out... I am going to have to do it while Alexander is awake or before I go to bed... but I would prefer to do it in the morning so it sets my mood for the day, then add a little extra before bed to help wear me out so I can sleep easier. plus the more I exercise the better!!!  But eating right is going to the be problem especially until i get use to not having Anthony home. I just HATE cooking while he is gone, it feels so pointless to me. I know I still have to cook for Alexander but he could care less if I cook a meal for him or not, and with me dieting I need to cook a well balanced meal that is really healthy and filling to help my diet. 

Well I have things to do since I've been procrastinating it since the ship left.  

the tears are rolling....

Deployment is LITERALLY just around the corner. No turning back. I am so not ready for him to be gone, but really how do you prepare to be a single parent for so many months? Its impossible. Its like preparing for death, impossible!  

I just hope I have the strength to handle it for the first week or two because I know my boys are gonna have a hard time adjusting =// Especially Alexander. HE is such a Daddy's boy. And he is to little to understand fully what is going on. He understands that Daddy is going bye-bye for awhile but he doesn't understand for how long or why. 

I know people do not understand why we deal with this, but neither do we until we are doing it. and it is impossible to understand unless you have been through it before. 

Well the stress has taken over already. Alexander woke up this morning, pooped out of his diaper and then wiped it all over his room. So besides needing to feed Gavin I had to get Alexander in the bathtub. And of course Anthony isn't home, so it was like my little test for deployment I guess. 

I do believe the hardest part of deployment is that Anthony is going to miss out on so much, not only with Gavin but Alexander as well. Gavin is doing all the fun baby things and Alexander is learning to use his imagination, so his playing is so much more fun to watch. 

WEIGHT LOSS!!!

Gavin Ignacio Martinez was born April 27th, 2011 at 5:00pm! He weighed NINE pounds and NINE ounces and was 21 inches long. And I wondered why I was in pain, lol.  We were released from the hospital on GREAT conditions on April 29th. And so far everything has been going GREAT at home. He is an amazing baby. He sleeps 3-4 hours at a time every night and really only fusses when he needs his diaper changed or is hungry. 

But now its time to prepare for deployment. So I am starting my weight-loss goal again. I  am weighing in at 185 now and by the time Anthony gets home I want to weigh 145-150lbs so thats 35lbs!! I lost 50+ during last deployment. Since I cant start working out yet I am going to try to eat right, which is slightly difficult with Anthony home, he always wants to loose weight but he NEVER wants to eat right. He refuses to eat healthy half the time. And when he thinks he is eating healthy he is drinking A TON of pop!! 

But today I purchased my weight watchers online program again. I am pretty excited to get started but I get 38 daily points which is a TON for me!! I normally get 28-32 and I cant always use those because I am so full. But I am breastfeeding so I need more food to produce milk for Mr. Gavin. And I have noticed that one, I feel like a piggy when we are eating, or when I realize how much I have eaten.

Well Gavin is waking up again..... 

Gavin Ignacio Martinez

Born

April 27th, 2011

5:00 pm

9lbs 9 oz

21inches