the tears are rolling....

Deployment is LITERALLY just around the corner. No turning back. I am so not ready for him to be gone, but really how do you prepare to be a single parent for so many months? Its impossible. Its like preparing for death, impossible!  

I just hope I have the strength to handle it for the first week or two because I know my boys are gonna have a hard time adjusting =// Especially Alexander. HE is such a Daddy's boy. And he is to little to understand fully what is going on. He understands that Daddy is going bye-bye for awhile but he doesn't understand for how long or why. 

I know people do not understand why we deal with this, but neither do we until we are doing it. and it is impossible to understand unless you have been through it before. 

Well the stress has taken over already. Alexander woke up this morning, pooped out of his diaper and then wiped it all over his room. So besides needing to feed Gavin I had to get Alexander in the bathtub. And of course Anthony isn't home, so it was like my little test for deployment I guess. 

I do believe the hardest part of deployment is that Anthony is going to miss out on so much, not only with Gavin but Alexander as well. Gavin is doing all the fun baby things and Alexander is learning to use his imagination, so his playing is so much more fun to watch.